The Half Ashed Cigar Forum

Career change, you say? Yep, at least as a consideration. I'm realizing that the industry I've devoted 16+ years to is a difficult bird to stay in if you're not comfortably entrenched in a typical role. I am not. I am passionate about aspects of the design & construction industry but I am also burned out on it. I don't intend on sounding like a whining employee, which I certainly am far from with the tone of this post, but I've been unhappy with multiple positions over the past few years. I'm smart enough to at least consider it may not be the firms I'm with, rather it may be my own perception of things as a whole. Is this a typical thing you all have experienced? Does anyone have any suggestions on a change? I'd love to hear thoughts, Mike Stewert's sarcastic comments aside.
In all honesty, how many of you were burned out to the point of considering abandoning your education and training just to start over?

I can absolutely commiserate here. Been there. In the 90's I was in a field I hated because there was more money to be had than what my chosen field would provide. I left, and swore I'd never go back. Within 3 years, I went back. Wished I hadn't. I lived through burnout watching little pieces of myself die every day until I finally just acquiesced and accepted it as my lot in life. It was a dull, monotonous - but secure - way of life.

Then, I sacked up (this applies to me; I don't know that yours nor anyone else's situation is one of NOT "sacking up" - but mine was) and followed a vocation rather than what was expected of me by others who don't live in my head. Something that actually has meaning to me and I hope is beneficial to some other folks who need a hand up. It's a scary thing to follow into a 70% paycut rather than continue to strive for what everyone else thinks to be "the American Dream." In total honesty, I couldn't be happier, despite some pretty serious monkey wrenches over the past 4 months. There's a saying that if you do what you love you'll never work a day in your life. I don't think it's entirely true; there's plenty of stuff that feels a lot like work...but when the work is satisfying, and you know something good was done in a day, "it's a good kinda hurt."

It's not safe. It's not easy. But, it can be worthwhile. No one can decide for you what to do and where to go - that would defeat the purpose . But, if you come across something that looks like an opportunity to be happy - take it. Look for that opportunity. It won't always come knock on your door. We only get a set amount of time on this rock. Make the best of it. What's the point of hanging out for 80+ years if you spend 70 of them banging your head on the rock.

For me, I'd rather have fewer, better years than drag out a miserable existence for another decade. The tumor in my head was the biggest wakeup call I could have dreamt up - especially in light of my Dad dying with a similar one just 8 weeks before my diagnosis. Knowing that even with treatment it will likely shorten my time here by 10-15 years motivated me to follow what I knew I should be doing. What that is for you, I don't know. All I know is: it's possible to be content AND fulfill your responsibilities at the same time.

Our change has been pretty drastic. We live simply; everything is on a cash basis, so all the stress from keeping up with the Joneses is gone. We have very few assets in a material sense - but no debt. This isn't for everyone, but it's working for us. There are plenty of less drastic changes that can make you 100% as happy. But, I believe it begins in finding some sense of enjoyment and purpose in what you're doing with the 1/3 of your life you spend in a career. If you're not happy in what you're doing there, you'll never be happy the other 2/3 of your time.

It CAN be done. The toughest part is getting past the mentality that it can't.

I realize this is a long, rambling post because I'm on a tight time schedule this morning. I'll come back and edit this into coherence later....

At the risk of offending Mr. Whiney Britches, who so warmly dis-invited me from the discussion, I'll also also chime in a bit, as I have a little bit of a differing view. Before getting into that, though, is that we all have families, and if a career change is not supported by your spouse (altho, they are also adults and should be able to, generally, handle some lifestyle constraints), or is a financial one that will jeopardize your kids, then our personal desires can be a moot point.

That said, over the past 20 years, I've been leaning more toward the idea that you should NOT make your passion/love into your career, but keep it as something you merely do as an avocation. Huh? Because when it is what you do on a daily, full(ish) time basis, it WILL become more of a chore - fulfilling other peoples' requests, doing dozens of tasks in which you have little or no interest, or even just finding out all sorts of crap you never knew about because someone else was doing it for you - rather than something to which you look forward. A lot of the "mental escape" your passion was providing will no longer exist.

My "favorite" jobs, at least when looking back, were relatively short-term, physical labor ones - working on a road crew pouring new asphalt, working in a garden center carrying lumber and bags of various lawn soils, walking 6-7 hours a day reading electric and gas meters - because I looked at those jobs as "being paid to work out" and then having all my off-time to spend my mental energies on stuff I actually enjoyed. And since those jobs required no off-work attention or preparation, I didn't have to worry about them.

To me, the ideal is to find a job that is, at least, financially profitable enough that you can pay your food and bills and have a little extra for plans, be of some benefit to you in a non-work related way, and mostly, that you don't hate and with people that you can enjoy.

I'm sure I'll think of something more sarcastic later...

Lots here. I'll get to it in a bit.

Stewmuse wrote:That said, over the past 20 years, I've been leaning more toward the idea that you should NOT make your passion/love into your career, but keep it as something you merely do as an avocation. Huh? Because when it is what you do on a daily, full(ish) time basis, it WILL become more of a chore - fulfilling other peoples' requests, doing dozens of tasks in which you have little or no interest, or even just finding out all sorts of crap you never knew about because someone else was doing it for you - rather than something to which you look forward. A lot of the "mental escape" your passion was providing will no longer exist.

Music is not your passion? Don't you play and teach music for a living? I mean, I know the lederhosen are probably a big part of why you do it, but...

Kip wrote:

Stewmuse wrote:That said, over the past 20 years, I've been leaning more toward the idea that you should NOT make your passion/love into your career, but keep it as something you merely do as an avocation. Huh? Because when it is what you do on a daily, full(ish) time basis, it WILL become more of a chore - fulfilling other peoples' requests, doing dozens of tasks in which you have little or no interest, or even just finding out all sorts of crap you never knew about because someone else was doing it for you - rather than something to which you look forward. A lot of the "mental escape" your passion was providing will no longer exist.

Music is not your passion? Don't you play and teach music for a living? I mean, I know the lederhosen are probably a big part of why you do it, but...

Ah... you make, unsurprisingly, the mistake most people do about music. You are assuming that we always enjoy what we're doing because, hey, it's music. Very little of what we get to asked to perform actually appeals to very many of us anything more than a rudimentary "I'm performing" level. There are exceptions, of course, but those of us who are not headliners who get to call our own shots are the majority. And you don't get to see the happenings when we're not performing, the things we have to do on a daily basis to keep ourselves physically and mentally prepared to perform at the high levels expected. It's not unlike athletes who "get paid a million dollars week to just play on Sunday afternoon." The actual performance is just the result of all the other efforts. These other efforts are rarely... euphoric.

Teaching, whether in a classroom or private lessons, is similar to many jobs in that some students/clients are totally enjoyable with which to work, while others are complete drudgery and need to be spurred on by a blow torch. We have bosses and rules, too, many of which can be quite limiting or intrusive.

I am NOT trying to say that music is a loathsome career, but it is not the dreamworld some people may envision. Except for the lederhosen, which is totally bangin'...

I can echo Mike a bit. I went into a career of teaching music and hated it. The good of spreading an art form I love was undercut by all the crap teachers are forced to do now. I still teach guitar lesson 1-on-1, but even that is tiresome. Even doing cigar reviews is work, albeit very enjoyable work.

The struggle I'm having now is whether I push forward with going into the cigar business on the retail side. The last thing I want is my love of the leaf to diminish...

Stewmuse wrote:Ah... you make, unsurprisingly, the mistake most people do about music. You are assuming that we always enjoy what we're doing because, hey, it's music.

Nope. I didn't make that assumption at all. It could have been any field. My assertion was that 1.) you enjoy music, & would consider it a passion of yours, and 2.) you have chosen to follow that field, from all appearances, happily. Unless you're suffering the same burnout as Craig, you've followed a passion into a career that (overall) you enjoy. I totally agree that a passion followed into a career can be a disaster. Just ask 99 of 100 professional fishermen. Most of them hate fishing.

If your true preference was for the menial, shortlived work why did you change? Simple economics? I suspect that doing something that you have a correlating interest in makes you happier in the long run - even though some aspects can be dreary or tiresome. It's a worthwhile trade-off to do something you love.

That's all I meant in my original, rambling post. If a person can't find a reasonable amount of satisfaction in his work, it will be hard to find fulfillment in it overall.

That said, I absolutely deny any belief that our whole personhood or "fulfillment" should come from our work, though. That's the trouble with guys; we tend to place far, far too much importance on what we do with the time we spend earning a living. Somewhere, there's a happy medium where we do work that gives us a sense of accomplishment and value, then go home and get the real deal. I just think that given the option to continue with drudging through the minefield of something we detest and making a move to something that is both enjoyable and fruitful, I go with fruitful every time. That's the gravy.

That happy medium is very elusive, however....

IWinchester wrote:The struggle I'm having now is whether I push forward with going into the cigar business on the retail side. The last thing I want is my love of the leaf to diminish...

Unless cigar smokers get our crap together, this will be a moot point long before you'll reach a retirement age....

Kip wrote:

Stewmuse wrote:Ah... you make, unsurprisingly, the mistake most people do about music. You are assuming that we always enjoy what we're doing because, hey, it's music.

Nope. I didn't make that assumption at all. It could have been any field. My assertion was that 1.) you enjoy music, & would consider it a passion of yours, and 2.) you have chosen to follow that field, from all appearances, happily. Unless you're suffering the same burnout as Craig, you've followed a passion into a career that (overall) you enjoy. I totally agree that a passion followed into a career can be a disaster. Just ask 99 of 100 professional fishermen. Most of them hate fishing.

If your true preference was for the menial, shortlived work why did you change? Simple economics? I suspect that doing something that you have a correlating interest in makes you happier in the long run - even though some aspects can be dreary or tiresome. It's a worthwhile trade-off to do something you love.

That's all I meant in my original, rambling post. If a person can't find a reasonable amount of satisfaction in his work, it will be hard to find fulfillment in it overall.

That said, I absolutely deny any belief that our whole personhood or "fulfillment" should come from our work, though. That's the trouble with guys; we tend to place far, far too much importance on what we do with the time we spend earning a living. Somewhere, there's a happy medium where we do work that gives us a sense of accomplishment and value, then go home and get the real deal. I just think that given the option to continue with drudging through the minefield of something we detest and making a move to something that is both enjoyable and fruitful, I go with fruitful every time. That's the gravy.

That happy medium is very elusive, however....

Yes, as to why slecting music. We are, if not on the same page, certainly reading the same chapter...